In a Funk

I don't even know how to begin except to repeat the title and that pretty much sums up where I am..."in a funk".  At least that is my self diagnosis, maybe the Lord would call it something else, maybe it's a dry spell, or a "growing phase", maybe even a consequence to my disobedience.  None the less, I want to get out of this funk (why does that seem like a verse from an 80's song and then so wrong when describing my relationship with Jesus?).

Part of my problem is I went on my first mission trip to Haiti in October.  I need to detail that trip on another post, but for the sake of my funk I'll cut to the chase.  After returning from Haiti I had all this "stuff" I had to process, and I feel like my conclusion was...I HAD to change the way I was living to HELP others live a better life, all in the name of JESUS.  "All in the name of Jesus" being the most important part, because it isn't so much about trying to get a Target in Haiti, that's implying my life with Target is so much better than a life without it...and here is a shocker, that isn't the case!  Instead it is about serving HIM so that I may help others.  So from October until just a few months ago I felt "in the moment".  God would show me ways to serve and help and I felt the closeness to HIM that I long for and that makes EVERYTHING better.

Slowly, in these past few months, I have drifted from the closeness I once felt and my serving HIM to help others has been sparse.  Of course, I could ramble on a million excuses and justify why this has happened, but the bottom line is that I am in a funk.  I know what I need to do, could do and should be doing, but for whatever reason I'm holding back.  I'm letting "life" roll on day after day into the sameness it was the day before.

So, I'm praying and I'm hopeful that my summer Bible study of Gideon is exactly what I need.  I love my summer Bible study time, because it is when two of my high school friends choose a study to complete and then weekly have a conference call to discuss it.  Really, how cool is that!??!  After 20 years of changing, growing, and maturing we now get to study the Bible together...God is pretty amazing!  One of my favorite lines from Priscilla Shirer is this..."The bottom line is that empowerment by God's Spirit is a necessity for success."

Until we meet again,


Heather

First Builder Meeting

I wanted to document our first builder meeting because it makes building this house seem very real!!!  It took about three and half hours to discuss our house plans, house style, and new ideas that the builder had for us to think about.  Drew and I felt very good about the meeting and believe this builder is a real contender for doing the job.  The positives is he is very detailed oriented, thorough, texts, emails, and answers his phone when it rings, and is a good listener.  We have already seen several of his homes and like the look of what he constructs.  We still need to talk to some of his clients to see how smooth the building process went, and how he is on following up if/when problems arise.

Right now we live in a home that was a spec house that had set on the market for about 2 years during the down housing market.  This builder has been TERRIBLE with following up with fixing things, blaming anyone but himself for issues, and it has left us fearful of getting into that situation again.  We have now learned over the past (almost) 4 years that this builder really doesn't care to have a relationship with his home buyers...something I totally don't understand when your business revolves around PEOPLE!

Builder 1 (we'll call him) is completely different than that and understands that having good communication, follow-up, and listening is not only good for his clients, but it is good for his business.  He has been building for about 20 years, and so far we haven't found any complaints against him with the BBB or other people in the community when we tell them our three choices of builders.

It is exciting to see what his bid will be on our house and then compare that with the other two.  We have two more meetings this coming week, and then we wait for numbers.  Our final decision won't be on numbers alone, obviously that has to play into the decision somewhat, but there are other factors to consider.  I have to get along and be able to communicate with the builder, he has to be organized and timely, I have to have faith in him that he does what he says he'll do.  Builder 1 has passed the test on all those factors so he is definitely in the running as being "The Builder".

Planning Stage

I would say we are at the point that most discussions between my husband and I revolve around house building.  We could be discussing the best consequence for our son's misbehavior, and then follow it up with..."Well, in the new house he will be sent to timeout on the back porch!"  HA!  Slightly kidding, but it does consume a lot of our thoughts, conversations, and time... and this is just the planning stage!

Houzz is my best source so far.  I've tried gathering magazines, looking at other websites, but nothing pinpoints my vision for our house as much as Houzz.  Now my BIG problem is...do all these singular pictures of doors, windows, bathrooms, kitchen layout, kitchen cabinets, flooring...etc ALL mesh together to make our home!?!?!?  I just don't know, by themselves they look awesome, together it may just look like one big hodge-podge of confusion.  I have to admit that is one of my biggest fears, that when the house is complete I will look around and it won't feel connected.

So here are a few of my random pictures from Houzz and I hope if something completely stands out as not fitting together you will leave a comment.


                                   1) Kitchen...love the window, the ceiling and island color

                                       2)  Master Bath...love the barrel ceiling, flooring, lighting

                                            3)  Bath Tub area in Master Bath....love it all!

                                             
                                         4)  Laundry room...same layout but my window is smaller

                                              5)  Variation of this for Olivia's Bedroom

Father's Day Anniversary

It will be another 6 years until Father's Day falls on our wedding anniversary.  One year after getting married it fell on Father's Day, but we didn't have any children and so the craziness of mixing the two celebrations didn't matter to us.  This year is a little different!

We had Drew's Dad over after church for lunch, and I attempted my first homemade coconut cream pie. (Not too shabby!)  Then my father-in-law left, and we contemplated going to the pool.  Exactly ten minutes after deciding it looked pretty dark outside it began to pour down rain.  So it left us indoors with nothing to do.  We had already given Drew his Father's Day gifts (biking jerseys) so that anticipation was over.  We played Legos, watched "Wild Kratz", and Drew got in a Sunday afternoon nap.

Early evening we took the kids over to Papa's house (Drew's Dad) so that Drew and I could go out and celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary.  Jack wanted to know, "Why do you always go out to eat when you take us to Papa's?"  Oh someday I hope he will completely understand why we do!!!  Needless to say we weren't extremely hungry,  and we had a few house planning things to do...still gathering ideas about flooring, bathroom tile, and appliances (I'll update about this later this week).  So we finished our errands and Drew asked what type of food I was in the mood for...and really a burger sounded great.  Plus our kids aren't fans of burgers so it was a win/win to go out to "Five Guys" and grab burgers without kids and to celebrate 12 wonderful years!!!  Not perfect years, not always good times, but 12 years I couldn't imagine spending with anyone but Drew!!!    He's a wonderful husband and an amazing father...so Happy Father' Day Anniversary to him!!!

My Best Friend

So Kelly over at Kelly's Korner is once again hosting "Show Us Your Singles".  I think this is a great idea and she has already helped matched 8 couples who met and got married from meeting through this event.

It is my pleasure to showcase a single girl I've known for 20 years.  We've been best friends since high school, so to say that I know her is an understatement.

Tiffany is 38 years old and lives in central Illinois.  She is a school psychologist who has a passion for serving the Lord and helping children.  She loves baseball (especially the St. Louis Cardinals), playing golf, and of course hanging out and shopping with her BFF (that's me)!

What I think makes Tiffany a great woman is that she is independent, caring, and has a great sense of humor!  She doesn't take herself too seriously...and that isn't very common for us women!!

(Above) This is a picture of Tiffany with my son, Jack...aren't they adorable!!!  Of course, I love the fact that Tiffany loves my children and is the fun Aunt that buys them presents, plays with them, and even babysits (overnight).  She doesn't just do it because we are friends, you can tell she really enjoys children.  She is amused by their antics and has fun playing at their level.

So, if Tiffany seems like someone your cousin, son, co-worker or brother would be interested in, please leave me a comment.  I love how Kelly makes it very clear that God's Plan is what matters most here, and I know Tiffany couldn't agree more.  Yes, she has prayed for God to bring that "special man" into her life, but she has in no way stopped living life thinking that is the only way one can live!  That is just one of the reasons she is my best friend!!!

Summer Time

This is the best time of the whole year!  Neither kiddo is in school, we keep activities to a minimum and I get to plan the day around fun activities...usually involving a pool!!!  This is also the time I feel really guilty being a stay-at-home Mom.  My husband works very hard, he enjoys his job (which I'm very thankful for), but if given a choice I'm pretty sure "pool time" would win out over job....EVERY. SINGLE. TIME!

I also am not as motivated to clean the house, cook dinner, or dust during the summer either.  I think that is where most of the guilt comes from.  Drew comes home from a long day at work and everything looks exactly like it did when he left.  He proceeds to ask us about our day and I rattle off all the things we have done....go to the gym, library, grocery store, hit the pool, played outside with the neighbor kids, and rode bikes.  Whew!  I'm tired...not a good thing to say to a man that has been up since 6 am!  Honestly, Drew has never said or implied that he thinks what I'm doing is wrong, but I know that the sole reason I'm able to live like I do is because he works so hard.  I also know he is thankful that I do stay home with the kids, that I'm teaching them even during the summer about manners, serving others, science, math, how to brush your teeth properly and the list goes on and on!!

So my goal for the remainder of the summer is to enjoy this time with the kids, because I know it is fleeting, and to show my husband a little more often how much I appreciate what he does for me and the kids.  How do you handle the guilt of being a parent?

                                                                (I love my two guys!)