Blog...What's that?

I have been reading blogs for years.  It all began when I struggled with fertility issues (circa 2003) and I didn't know anybody else personally that had gone down the same road I was dragging my feet against going down.  Then my eyes were opened to an entire world of women who typed out their frustrations, emotions, highs and lows regarding all things "baby making" -- for lack of a better term!  It gave me a place to retreat and feel my own emotions as my husband and I struggled with why it was so difficult to get pregnant.  I then began talking about the blogs like I knew these women personally, because let's face it when you are sharing all things related to fertility it gets personal fast.  My husband would say things like, "Have I met this person?" or "Now how do you know her?" and finally, "Is this from one of those... blogs?"  It didn't bother me that he didn't understand the joy I found in them, because if it made me feel less alone, less stressed out, and more optimistic about our future family then that's all that mattered.

What I didn't expect to happen is to read about a women who sought IVF treatments in St. Louis, MO which was only 2 hours away from where we were living at the time.  She became pregnant and I thought this was a possibility for my husband and me.  Funny enough, she ended up living in the SAME town we were living (Columbia, MO) and I started emailing her.  At this point, my husband and I had tried conceiving for over a year and a half.  I had a hysterosalpingogram (HSG), laparoscopy to treat endometriosis, several failed artificial insemination, and thought IVF was my last hope.  Based on the blog about St. Louis I scheduled an appointment around the first part of November (2003) and met with Dr. Silber.  He was a very kind man and said our fertility issues were "unexplained", but that we were good candidates for IVF.  At the time, I taught high school and he recommended we wait for the summer when life would be a little less stressful.  At that November appointment we needed to give a down payment to secure our spot that summer.  I was more than ready to write the check when Drew put the brakes on letting loose with any money.  I remember vividly him saying, "Heather, let's just pray about it one more month, then if you aren't pregnant we can mail in the check."  My response, "Drew, it has been 1 year and 11 months, you really think we are going to have a different result than what we've had for almost 2 years!"  You can imagine my tone...hormonal, stress induced, wife that didn't want to hear "wait one more month".

I took my husband's advice, knowing I would have the chance to gloat when I was writing the check out in December to hold our spot to begin IVF that summer.  BUT, my gloating never took place!  On November 28, 2005 I took a pregnancy test and it was POSITIVE!!!  I continued to stay in touch with the blog world, but found that my interests took over which blogs I would frequent more.  When I suffered through hyperemesis with my first pregnancy I related to women who had suffered the same, after having my first baby I connected with blogs that talked about sleep training, nursing, and "blow outs"!

Now I find that my list of blogs I frequent revolve around mostly Christian women who are trying to do the best they can raising their children, loving their husbands, and keeping their own identity.  My husband couldn't believe it when I told him I started my own blog, I'm not sure what he really thinks a blog is, but for me it's a connection that I can't imagine not having on a daily basis.